jerkenglish:

apparently my frikcking seven year old cousin made a club at school called the “no friends club” and basically everyone who doesnt have friends sits together at lunch holy shit hes going to be the next leader of the free world 

andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”